this is not twilight
by Z-R-S-D-H-J
Summary: Lovino, Feliciano and their parents are all vampires.Their parents are murdered by another pair of vamps,lovino witnessing their last moments.Their mother casts a spell to protect them,making them forget.This is the story of Lovino's life after they start to transform and fall in love with humans.Starts with Prumano,FRUK,Spanada.Ends with main pairings of spamano,usuk,prucan,gerit
1. Chapter 1

**15****th********may, 1990, 23:36pm**

Lovino's mother

We knew it would happen at some point, just not so soon. I sit waiting for my lover to finish writing the letter to explain, well everything. What they are, how to control it, who they can trust and who they can't. This letter is theirs and those around them safety.

In the still silence I can hear the scratch of the pen as if scratching a tune in time to my metaphorical heartbeat. The shatter of glass sounds adding to the symphony of sound, like a symbol in a classical band. They're here, they're early than expected, but before I can panic I have to- "I'm done, that should explain to boys what they are," my husband murmurs. Footsteps, broken by the laughter of the innocent, our children, our beautiful twins, can be heard coming up the stairs. I grab the youngest of our five year old twins and speak in the forgotten language.

"Entruder mienda biyen,"I hiss (which translates as "open the room"), using my fangs to transfer the sound to annosus, a language few humans know. The air tight play room, big enough to hold the boy's for 3 days before the air would run out, where we store them when we go to hunt. I place Feliciano inside and turn to collect Lovino to do the same. Just as I reach him the door cracks with a echoing boom. There is no time to place him with his brother. My lover grabs Lovino as I turn around and hiss "closuar ciar biyen." (Close and seal the door.)

Just as the door closes vanishing from sight and looking like an ordinary painting, the door between them and us explodes against the wall. He stands in the door way, his own behind him, matching stakes at hand. I telepathically link to my love, my partner, in preparation to fight. As the link I ask about Lovino and as we vincea, annosus for bond, he shows me Lovino. Then we prepare to fight.

Lovino

I can see the vincea between my parents as I watch from where my father hid me. I see under the bottom of the desk, the golden light visible in the air. My parents once told me I was special because of that. The vincea is invisible to all but those who are not seen. They say it tells my future of what's to come and how powerful I will be. It's my fault we were found. I watch with fasciation as the vincea works how my parents fight in sync never breaking their synchronisation.

Something about him fighting my mother catches my eye, a blackness surrounding him and trail leading away. I followed the trail and only just catch my gasp as I realise where the trail leads and what it is. They have a vincea only; they are dark in soul and mind. They're love is black. I must tell my parents but how? I don't know why I do, maybe it's instinct or maybe it's from watching my parents do it so many times, but I reach out searching feeling my own vincea form with theirs and I show them what I see.

My father sees but cannot acknowledge as he is locked with him. My mother has pulled back having delivered a stunning blow and flicks her eyes to me in amazement. I see him drop a blow on my father and come up behind her and try to warn her. I try to reach her but I have nothing left to connect with. His arm rapes around her side so fast she does not see and strikes. I see her eyes wide and I try with my eyes to tell her I am sorry, sorry that I killed her. I watch in slow as the stake slides out then moves to her neck finishing the kill. I watch her slide to the floor and I know it was my fault that she dies.

A cry pulls my eyes from my mother's as I focus on my father. He falls and I see though his eyes, how and why he fell. He is creating a vincea with me and he is so angry. He shows me the pain he felt when my mother fell and the distraction it cause him. He shows how angry he is that I distracted them both, allowing them to win. He shows me it was my fault. I already knew it was my fault. I am my parent's killer, I murdered my own parents.

I feel a tug on the link and it moritars (dies), before another one replaces it. My gaze connects again with my mother and the same emotions are personified. I reach out myself trying to strengthen the weak connection but a noise distracts us both killing the connection. Footfalls fall on the carpet, loud in the death around me. He reaches above me and I literally stop breathing. Should he bend down now then my parents deaths will be for nothing and then I am to fault. He reaches above me and pulls the papers my father was working on. For ten minutes he reads with me occasionally breathing out and in slowly and quietly. Every sheet he finishes he passes to his own. They finish reading and he reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a box of some sort.

Lovino's mother

The vincea is weak but Lovino thinks it is. My killer reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a box of matches. I watch helpless as he lights each paper and then watches it burn and as the flames reaches his fingers he drops it under the desk. I can feel him stare at the fire and feel just how close the heat is to his face. Then I feel pain, my poor Bambino, it burns, burns his hand and wrist. I feel his fear and I know that he will never be rid of that fear, the fear of what burns. Then suddenly, I can see his eyes again the fire of the last piece of paper lighting them the colour of a tigers. I feel him make a vincea with me and though it he channels what power he has, trying to keep me alive. I try to send it back but I don't have the strength to return the link. So instead I decide to use it I build up my borrowed strength and send it forming another link this time with Feliciano and doubling the link with Lovino sending a power that I had learnt as a reserve in case this happened.

"Dedisco," (forget) I whispered, transmitting and feeling all their memories slip away all except what was human. She used the last of her power to do two things, one to make her children sleep until he had left. Two she unlocked the door that kept Feliciano hidden so that he could get out later. As she felt her life slip away she had three regrets. Her first regret was that she had always threated Lovino as a freak not her son. Her second, that she had not been able to protect lovino from seeing his parents murdered. And the last regret, more of a wish really, was to be able to tell the boys what they were and teach them to control their powers and to make sure that they never go dark. With that wish circling her head she slipped into the ibis of death and was embraced by darkness.

Lovino

The clock strikes quarter to midnight as I start to slip into the blackness of my mind, the power I gave to my mother drained me, along with the dedisco power my mother cast. I can hear the clock above my head chime and I faintly register that it is nearly my birthday though I was too distracted by my parents fading breath. After a while of watching them slowly die he walks towards my father while his lover bent down and places her hand on the wound on my mother's neck coating it in fresh blood. I stifle a horrified gasp as she slowly licks the blood before standing and walking to the door. I hear a faint whisper and he says "they will not last long but I do not have the patience to stay and watch them die. I must find that boy before he gains control of his powers. After they left I sit staring at the blood wishing it wasn't real wish that I could rewind time and prevent this.

I listen hard catching the hitch in father's breath and I know he will die first. The clock stick midnight and an as the last chime sounds my father takes his last breath fixing his hatful eyes on my apologetic ones.

I finally break my gaze from my father as my mother breaths "Feliciano." I almost miss the flick of her eyes as she faintly shifts her body to stare at the hidden room. I almost feel angry with her as she breathes in deeply and does not breathe out again. I know she is gone and the guilt is made worse by the fact that it´s my birthday. Maybe it's a sign of what's to come of what the future will be for me.

That thought plus the guilt I feel for their deaths is my last conscious before my eye slide shut and I watch my memories run through my mind before slipping though my out starched hands as they float away. One thing stays with me as I watch my parents die again in my mind and that is guilt. For some reason the guilt does not leave as the last thought floats away, it seems to intensify. It over takes me before as my dream ends and I see only the blankness of my mind. I know who I am and that I am guilty but that is all I remember as I am swallowed by the darkness.


	2. Changing

**4****th**** may, 1999, 3:37am**

**Lovino**

"Lovi," a voice called in the now present darkness as the dream slipped away. "Don´t forget us." The darkness was starting to get light. "Lovi, you ok," my brother greeted me. "Another night mare. Was it the same one." I shook my head but my trembling gave me away. "Do you remember it this time?" I shook my head again. It had been like this for as long as I remember, I would have a nightmare and never remember any of it. My brother is sure it´s the same one cause apparently ii always shout out the same things. He´s also sure it´s about our parent's, he won´t tell me why.

Then I realised that he was in my bed. With only his boxers on. Again. "Feli, what the hell! How many times do I have to tell you, SLEEP IN YOUR OWN ROOM, especially at the moment you might catch my cough," I cried, punctuated by my coughing fit. They were getting more frequent and longer. When I didn´t stop he thumped me on the back a couple of times. I felt something rise up my throat and jumped of the bed into the connected bathroom slamming the door with my foot. I threw up into the toilet and then stood up quickly to lock the door, all within I'd say thirty seconds. Feli banged on the door demanding to be let in but I ignored him in favour of throwing up again.

"Fratello, I know you're being sick so let me in," Feli shouted though the door. He started to break the door down when I didn´t reply. "Lovi let me in, now." I continued to ignore him as I shakily stood to look in the mirror. There was vomit on my chin, I could feel it. I reached over to the light switch and gasped. The vomit was coloured red. Blood red. I looked in to the toilet and sure enough the vomit was blood. I felt faint and slid to the floor with a bang. Feli stopped yelling at me and I heard him run out of the room and open the front door. I knew he was getting a teacher and for some reason I didn´t want anyone to see me like this. Like I had just walked out of a horror movie.

I flushed the toilet and grabbed some loo role to clean my face. I noticed some in my hair as well so ran the tap over it. Just as I finished the front door slammed against the wall as Feli and whichever teacher he had managed to wake up. I flicked the light back off and sank to the floor my energy spent. I leaned back against the sink letting my eyes drift shut. I listened to the door being unlocked and then being thrown open as Feli rushed in and started to cling all over me trying to get me to open my eyes. I followed the command and glared at him before stumbling to my feet and making my way to the bed. I collapsed on top of it and clung to the sheets to stop from coughing and throwing up again.

I felt Feli climb in as well and for once didn´t complain as he added warmth to my cold body. My last conscience thought was that it wasn´t normal to feel this cold before I feel into the familiar nightmare.

**Same date, 6:30am**

Beep, beep, beep, and slam. I threw the alarm clock against the wall and curled into the nearest source of heat. Feli wiggled away from me and stretched. "Ve~ Lovi~ we need to get up now," he chirped. His voice hit every nerve in my head causing it to throb. I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow trying to block out all the noise Feli was making. "Lovi, you not getting up?" he asked. I shook my head and he rolled me over. He looked down at me. "Lovi, if you miss morning reg then you could get in serious trouble. Are you feeling ok?"

I winced at his voice. It was like I had a hangover but I hadn´t got drunk last night. Feli looked at me for a few seconds before leaving for breakfast and registration. In our school they took registration at breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you didn´t attend then you often got detention and a privilege taken away. Well I could live with that. What pissed me off was that he had left without even a care. It hurt to think about how little he cared.

I heard the lock click as Feli left locking the door behind him. Some brother I had. I pulled myself out of bed to get a drink to satisfy the thirst in my throat. I was also hungry but after last night I wasn´t chancing it by eating anything. I dragged myself back to bed and sat listening to the dorm wake it's self-up and make their way to breakfast. I drifted off to sleep again.

**Same date, 7:30am**

I woke up. I glanced at the alarm clock. 7:30. I felt something on my chin and guessed it to be more vomit. I lifted my hand to wipe it off and glimpse a slight red ting to it. My body aches as if I have been run over by a car. I feel tired but I try to stay awake. I let my mind wonder thinking about anything but how I feel.

About five minutes goes by. I hear the click of the lock and someone whispering. Whoever it is gets closer. "Are you sure they're not hear, I didn´t see the grumpy one at breakfast," a French accent reaches my ears.

My door creeks open, "I'm sure they´re not here, Lovino's most probably with…" a Spanish accent trailed off when he saw me, lying on the bed. "Guess he is here." He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Sorry, we shouldn´t be here but…" he trails off, when I just stare at him. I can´t move or it´s pain city. I use my eyes to ask him to help to make it go away. His emerald eyes widen as he realises

His friends shift about guiltily behind him. I feel my chest constrict and I start to cough as I try to move. Pain shots up my body as I move. I can´t stop and I feel the vomit rise in my throat and I fell the vomit spilling out of my mouth. I know its blood but I can´t stop. It pools around my head absorbing into the pillow and blankets.

I watch and listen to the boys as they panic. One boy with a familiar accent says he´s going to get help. The boy the Spanish accent belongs to moves forward lifting my upper body so that I don´t chock on my own blood. His hand touches my forehead and then recoils at the temperate. "Francis, he´s freezing! How is that possible? Shouldn´t he be boiling?" his voice is high and scared. His hand grips my wrist, cheeking my pulse. His fingers move around as he tries to find it eventually succeeding. "Oh dios, ayuda, his pulse is so weak. Lovino can you open your eyes. Lovino, please look at me." I hadn´t even realised I had shut them. I cracked my eyes trying to open them but could only half lid them before they flicker shut again.

Mon ami, move away from him, it might be catching," the French boy worries. He pulls the Spaniard away, making me fall back on the bed. In between coughing I start to swallow my own blood every time I breathe and I can feel it in my lungs blocking my breathing. I stop coughing but I start to fight for breath blood still pooling in my mouth.

The door opens as someone pulls me up again and I hear Feli´s wailing as he tries to get to me but someone´s stopping him. I guess it´s his boyfriend and I internally curse at him. I can hear him crying as I am lifted in to someone´s arms. I am carried for a short while before cold air hits my bare skin and a car door slams. I am handed to someone else lower down as I feel the person holding me bend. Another car door slams and I black out as it starts, a pain shooting though my entire body making me squirm.

**7****th**** may, same year. 5:15pm**

Bleep, bleep, bleep.

"How is he?" Feli's voice sounded really for away but it was getting closer. Another voice responded out my hearing, causing Feli's miserable reply. "But he´s all I have." His voice fades off before I hear footsteps at the door. "He looks like he in so much pain. Can he hear me?" his voice dropped to a whisper.

Then a voice I remember as the horrid doctor from the hospital I took Feli to when he burnt himself last month replies "maybe, some people can and some can´t. you never know so it´s best to assume that they can." The footsteps draw closer to my bed a Feli starts to rattle on and on about him, Ludwig and school.

I groan not wanting to listen about two things I hate, school and the potato bastard. Feli pauses in his speech. "Lovi, did you just groan," he asked, excited. I open my eyes and glare at his way to happy face. "Ve your awake, I have to everyone!" and he disappears out the door chirping like a bird about miracles and such.

The doctor comes in with Feli behind. "You must have been mistaken, he can´t have… oh my god, he´s actually awake," she gasped. I rolled my eyes, and then returned to glaring at both of them. I licked my lips around the tube in my mouth trying to tell them how thirsty and hungry I was. The doctor called a nurse and told her to get me a glass of water then walked off muttering something about telling the others.

I raised my eye brows at Feli and he answered my unasked question. "The guys who found you are here along with Luddy and the music teacher. Hey did I tell you that Luddy and I broke up?" his normally happy voice dropped sounding more upset than when he´d been talking to the doctor about me.

I rolled my eyes as he started to tell me how and why he broke up with the German idiot. I tuned out and listened to the chatter down the hall trying to identify one voice. That Spanish voice that helped me. The familiar voice of the German gits brother reached my ears first. Then the French git joined in making me wince at the noise. Then that musical voice quietly calmed them down and I realised who they were. Those three boys were the bad touch trio, famous at school for claiming their whole year group and half my year group in their beds.

The Spanish boy was the player, Antonio. The German or as he was constantly calling himself Prussian, was the A set of footsteps drew my attention as the noise grew again. They were getting closer to my room so I turned my head as best I could to see who it was. Antonio peeped round the door and I turned my head away to glance at the ceiling, embarrassed for him to see me so weak. I let my eyes close for a few seconds willing him to leave, to go back to his posy and go back to school. I wanted him to forget I even existed so I could go back to being invisible, back to wallowing in my own guilt over my parent´s death.

But god must have it in for me as instead he stepped into the room and started to talk to my brother. "The doctor said he was awake? Can I see him?"

"He's awake, he's just ignoring us. He's embarrassed to be seen like this," Feli replied. Hah, so my brother does realise that I'm ignoring his existence and he knows that I don't want to be seen like this. He's not much of idiots I thought.

"Seen like what?"

"In his mind he has to be this strong person, I don't know why. To him right now he's weak and, well he doesn't like to be weak."

"Is this true? Lovino?" I didn't even look at them pretending not be listening.

"He's ignoring us."

"I don't think he is, Feli. I think he's just listening, trying to decide why I'm here."

"That means he was listening about, me and Ludwig."

"I heard about that. Why'd you do it Feli?"

"Well, when you found him three days ago," he started, and I nearly chocked. I'd been in here for three fucking days. What the hell. No wonder everyone thought I was as god as dead. "Lovino, you ok," Antonio's head appeared in my vision, looking worried. I glared at him and turned my head to avoid him seeing the blush spreading on my cheeks.

He retreated and I returned to staring at a stain in the ceiling and Feli Antonio asked Feli to continue. "When you found him practically dying the other day, I had left him even though he looked really ill. I left him to die in favour of seeing Ludwig for breakfast. Then gilbert came running in shouting about how he was dying and I felt like it was my fault. While he's been in hospital Ludwig has been trying to take me away from him and it started to annoy me. So I told him that I. Was not leaving Lovi and if he didn't like it then he was dumped."

"Feli, he was trying to help you. He was trying to give you a break from the responsibility of your brother. It's not your fault Feli, if it's anyone's fault it's Lovino's for not telling anyone just how ill he really was."

"I think he wants to die," Feli's voice dropped to a scared whisper and I looked at him. He'd hit the nail on the head and by driven it into his heart. Antonio noticed me looking at them with guilt. I looked away, not able to look in those innocent looking eyes.

I closed my eyes suddenly feeling tired and my head ached. My chest closed and I started to struggle to breath. The tube was hurting my throat as I struggled to great and I vaguely heard Feli yelling for the doctor. I didn't fight the darkness of my own conciseness, in fact I welcomed it. Dying was the only way to escape my guilt filled life. I sank in to the familiar night mare only this time something was different.

**12th may, same year, 8:45pm Feliciano**

Lovino came to again, opening his eyes. The hospital had sent him home saying that there was nothing they could do for him and he might as well be home. I tried to tell them that Lovino never considered this place as home but they wouldn't listen. They said that his was the only place he had.

He groaned and sat up. My heart skipped a beat. He hadn't done that since he had been in hospital. "Feli, why am I back in this shit hole? I don't want to die here."

"Ve~ you're not going to die. Lovino you can't leave me." he just stared at me as if he didn't understand. I started to ramble about how if he left I would be on my own while he was with our parents and stuff. It's a nervous habit.

He continued to stare at me and I saw his expression change. It went from plain confused to hungry. I rambled something about pasta now he'd woken up and went to the kitchen to start the dish.

A few minutes later a pair of arms wrapped around my torso and pinned me to the surface. He nuzzled my neck, and snarled. I froze at the tone of his voice when he spoke. "You smell nice, I wonder what you taste like." at first I thought he meant like in a sexual way but then he bit me. His teeth were strangely sharp and seemed to sink though my skin. I pulled away from his teeth and spun round. His arm moved away from me and he backed up, confusion written all over his face.

"Lovino, what... Why..." I stuttered. He shook his head backing away from me. Then he grabbed his coat and ran out the door. "Lovi, come back. Lovino, you can't leave your ill." my head was spinning as I ran after him down the hall but he was nowhere in sight. Did the first thing I could think of. I ran to Luddy and Gilbert's room and practically broke the door down. I managed to tell them what happened for some reason leaving out the bite saying that I tripped and fell onto something pointed. Gilbert made some calls while Luddy patched up my wounds. Soon Antonio, Francis and a few teachers were there all trying to find out what happened from me.

After I had told them what happened they all slit up to look for him. I stayed behind in mine and Lovi's apartment and curled up to sleep.

**Lovino 9pm**

I had just tried to bite my brother! What the hell was wrong with me! Uh, I felt awful. Like I was so hungry it hurt even though Feli had made me eat every time I came to. It felt different than what I used to feel. I kept running following my instinct´s.

After ten whole minutes of running and I still wasn´t out of breath I realised I felt weird. Like I didn´t have to breathe only run were ever I was running. I drew to a stop outside a club. "What in hell drew me to this place," I wondered aloud before the smell hit me. It was like every good smell mixed up to form one smell making him hungrier than ever. Someone walks out of the club clutching a cloth to his nose, the cloth stained red. When the guy sees me staring at him so intently, he drops the cloth and runs.

I sniffed the air. The smell is coming from that cloth. I picked it up and smelled it, the scent raping me in the pleasure of the smell. Without even realising it I went to lick it, catching myself before my tongue touched the cloth. I throw it away and suddenly realisation dawns on me. I´m craving blood. Oh god.

"Finally realised haven´t you," a voice sounds. I spin round searching for the voice and it takes me a second to realise that they spoke in Italian. The owner of the voice steps forward. "You´ve nearly finished lovino. Only your heart has to stop now. And that should happen any second now. Before you die you must know that should you try to fight it you will not survive."

A tall mahogany haired man with the same colour eyes as mine stood before me and my reply seemed to shock him. "why would I fear death? I have wanted to die since I caused my parents death." I move towards him, then past, into the alley before my chest starts to ache.

"Why would you say that?" he asks following me in to the alley. He sits and I sit opposite him, on the warm ground.

"cause ever since my parents died it´s been Feli this and Feli that. I always fade into the background. If I am noticed they always think that I am Feli's cousin or older brother or some such shit like that, never his twin. Cause his hairs more Blondie brown than ruby brown and his eyes are more brown than hazel. They always assume he´s younger than me because he´s so innocent. I watched my parents die, not that I remember it and he was fast asleep in a cupboard. Every night I dream about their death and every morning I don´t remember." My voice fades slowly as the ache in my chest grows to pain and that increases every time I breathe.

"lovino, I have a proposition for you. This rising will bring new powers, powers that you will not be able to control without practise. I can offer you the skills to control them." I shoot him a WTF look, now unable to talk. "I'm offering to be your teacher, or as it is called in our language, arbitrator (master)." I nodded, knowing that I would need to control the new powers I could already feel pulsing through my veins. I felt my heart stop and closed my eyes as the pain grew but instead of trying to fight the darkness that was fast becoming my mind, I embraced it because it was different and new and so what I wanted. To be strong and visible.

I thought about my parents and how they died as I joined them, if only for a short while.

**Stranger**

As I looked down on the boy I could not help but wonder just how powerful he was. It made me proud to know that he had changed more than a year early than it was normal. I picked him up cradling to my chest. I carried him all the way home using the power to jump from England to south Italy. There I laid him down in his prepared room fit with everything he would need to live a life of death.


	3. reborn

**Sorry this took so long to anyone reading this. I had exams and illness delaying me along with writers block. I tried really hard to write Ludwig and Feliciano but I'm not sure their right. I really need a beta tester to so if you find any mistakes just let me know.**

**In the first part of this chapter Lovino's a bit out of character but how would you feel if you just died, come back to life, found out your in some strangers house with your dead mothers look alike. Same with Feliciano, but he's just lost his brother. More at end of chapter.**

* * *

**13****th**** may, 1999, 7am.**

**Lovino**

"Lovino, you need to wake up," my mother's voice seemed to be calling me back to consciousness. I swear I could feel her hands streaking my hair like she used to. "Lovino, you have to open your eyes." I opened one eye and peered through my lashes to see a women's face peering down at me. She was stroking my hair, and she hadn't even touched my wayward curl. She stopped when she noticed that I was awake and starring at her.

"Morning Lovino," she smiled and I swear I knew her.

She was pale and had reddish brown hair. Her eyes were dark hazel with a hint of black. Other than the hair she was the spitting image of my mother in a younger version, early twenties perhaps. I realised that I had my head in her lap and that she most probably was related to the guy who had helped me last night.

I noticed that I was staring at her and shifted away from her. "Where am I?" I asked, looking around. I remembered everything about last night and how he'd found me as I was dying. This must be where he had taken me, to look after and teach me.

"You're in Italy. This is where I and my husband live. That's all I can tell you for now," she looked at me, a strange look in her eye.

Before I could reply the door opened and the guy who had brought me here walked in, a tray in his hands. I sat up straight staring at the tray, smelling what was in the glasses. The man chuckled at my reaction before setting the tray down on the desk. He picked up a glass and handed it to his wife. My eyes never left the glass and I subconsciously licked my lips, anticipating the taste.

They both chuckled now, but I barely noticed as he handed me a glass. He took the last for himself and pulled up a chair. "It's not real, only a substitute to the real thing. It'll do tell you are well enough to hunt," he said, after I had taken a sip.

I stared at them; something about them tickled the back of my mind, like a memory I couldn´t reach. After a while my eyes drifted to him. I felt like all the energy I had woken with was slowly fading. "Keep drinking, Lovino, you'll get your energy back. It's because you used a lot of energy changing," he answered my unasked question.

I suddenly realise that I don't even know their names. "Who are you?" they look at each other in confusion. "Your names, I don't even know your names." They laughed in understanding.

"My name is Accipiter Vulpes, and this is my husband Lupus Beltrano. We live here in Italy and in England and, oh, there's a lot to tell you but not now." The woman paused and her husband asked, "You still agree to be taught by me, Lovino?"

I nodded then suddenly had a thought. "I have a request and two questions."

The two before me looked at each other before motioning for me to continue. "I'll start with my first question. Is my brother going to go through the same thing?" they nodded and I chewed my lip, thinking. "That leads to my request, can I stay in England with my brother while you teach me because hell worry and think I'm dead." I paused to think about this before sniggering at the irony. "Even if I am dead I'm still here walking around. Besides as much as I hate the guy he's still my brother and I'm all he's got left as family."

They looked at each other again before he replied, "we'll have to think about that Lovino, as it would be easier teaching you full time and if you went back you would have live a humans life, feeding more often than normal. But I suppose your brother will need you this time next year. I'll think about it, what's your last question?"

"Why do you have different surnames if you're married?" I asked curiously and slightly confused to.

They laughed, which made a very rare smile grace my face with an appearance, before answering. "It's because it's the family's we come from. Normally, Accipiter would have taken my last name as well making her first name double barrelled as Accipiter-Vulpes Corvus but as both the Vulpeses and the Corvuses are important family's neither of us could lose our surnames. We would lose our titles if we did."

He rose to leave picking up our now empty glasses and his wife followed after him as he left. They turned at the door and she told me "sleep now, Lovino, you must regain your strength. We have a lot to tell you." They chuckled as they left, still finding my last question amusing.

I closed my eyes and felt my mind close off. The dream I fell into felt familiar, like Id watches it before. I watched some familiar kids playing outside in the sunset until a woman's voice called them in Italian. And that voice with my home language triggered my memory. This was the dream that had haunted me for years, the night our parents died.

I don't know how I know this but something tells me I am. I follow them to the back door and my mother comes into view, smiling at my brother while my younger self is not noticed at the bottom of the steps. She hugged Feliciano and her eyes looked straight at me over his shoulder. Her eyes shifted to look at the younger me, then back up to me, as if she could see me.

I heard a noise behind me, turning I saw darkness on the horizon. Not the darkness of night but some kind of anger so bad it turned its owners into evil. I know this because I see the shadows of this hatred even in the darkness that approaches.

I heard a soft thump from the house and turned to find the door shut. When I got to the door I just ignored it completely and, reacting on instinct, stepped though as if it was already open. It was the weirdest feeling in my life, walking into that office. It was the only room in the house I remember as a child and yet I wish it wasn't. the reason both me and my brother hate to be reminded of this room is because every time we think of it, all we see is blood covering the carpet and that happy family portrait with our parents and Feliciano, with me behind my parents chairs in the background, ripped into a million pieces raining from the sky like snow.

I lean against the wall staring at that photo and marvel at how, even though our parents are dead, I still remain in the background unless it's for the wrong reasons.

My mother talking with my father brings me out of my thoughts and I move away from the wall to look out the window, though there's nothing to see except blackness, like someone painted the window black on the outside. When the door bangs off its hinges I refuse to turn around, but as the battle starts the panicked thoughts from my young self-prompts me to turn and watch not them but him. I watch as he makes that bond with them, learning just from watching.

As silence fills the large room I watch as the darkened man walks to the desk and reads and burns that carefully prepared letter and watch as one flame lands in my hair, frying that one wayward curl. As the darkened pair leave I finally look to my dying parents and watch, mesmerised as they slip into Hades realm of death. Strangely enough it's not watching their death that bothers me, it's all that blood and the hunger I feel just looking at it.

Just as the life dies from my mother's eyes my own mind starts to dim, then a light slowly grows brighter before my eyes snap open in bed, completely coated in sweat. I sit up and grab for a drink before remembering where I am. I lay back down feeling more tired than when I first went to sleep and watch as the dream starts again.

**Same date, 4:45pm**

For the third time that day I jerked awake, tangled in my sheets on the floor and covered in sweat. I groaned and untangled myself, before climbing back on the bed. Having the same nightmare three times in one night wasn't unusual but the fact that I could remember it was. I stared at the ceiling, letting the images from my dreams keep me awake.

I hadn't left my room yet accept to look into the corridor and, upon seeing how big the hallway was, retreated back to bed. I could just hear light snoring coming from the end of the hallway, even through thick concrete walls. I marvelled in my newly enhanced senses, how I could hear some mice running around outside my room, how I could still smell Accipiter´s perfume and Lupuses aftershave in the room, how I could still taste that beautiful tasting liquid I now needed to survive and how I seemed to be unable to focus on anything that did not move without intense concentration.

I wondered if Feli missed me, or had already mourned me and moved on. "I bet that right now he's with that fucking potato bastard, making pasta or doing some art work or…" my voice trailed off. I hoped my brother missed me but it was Feli. He would get over it. He would move on. He had never really cared about me; I only annoyed him, always getting in trouble. I did it to keep him safe, innocent and carefree. I always took the blame for whatever he did wrong and he never even noticed, only found it annoying. He had friends and someone else to love, he would forget me.

I suddenly remembered that I had requested to go back to England to look after the little bastard but thinking about it I realised I didn't have to. I could most probably just stay out of his life and he would never even care. Lupus could help him like me but I would stay dead in his head, pretending that I had died in the transformation proses. Then he could live his life and I, mine. He would have people to care for him, he always had.

As these bitter thoughts filled my mind, I closed my eyes and started to dream of Feliciano's world without me. He would be happy and would never have to bother even pretending I don't exist. I watched like a ghost as he lived his life without me.

**Feliciano**

I stared at the ceiling. They still hadn't found him. Everyone else was now expecting to find him dead, if at all. But I refused to even think about that possibility. He can't be dead. I started to sob all over again and curled up under the blanket again.

I heard the door creak open and footsteps approach my bedroom. "Feli, are you in here," a German laced voiced called from behind the locked door. "Let me in, please."

"Ludwig," I whisper, frozen. It's all very well, asking me to open the door but I just can't move anymore. I nestle back into the covers, silently crying as I think of Lovino, he was most probably stuck in some ditch somewhere, unable to move like me, alive but… sobs rack my body as this image takes shape in my mind.

"Feli, are you ok? Please talk to me."

"Can't. Don't want. Go away." I say, unable to make a clear sentence. I hear a click. Light enters for the first time in I don't know how long. I watch the shadow of Ludwig thru my quilt as he sits down next to me.

His gloved hands move up and pull the quilt away from me. I try to pull it out of his grasp to hide underneath again but Ludwig's to strong and pulls it completely off the bed.

"No, Feli," he murmured, pulling me unto his lap. He stroked my hair which set me off crying harder. "Feli, stop it, this isn't you." He pulled me to my feet and away from the bed. He sat me down on the loveseat and can't help but think that he never sat in this seat with anyone, never had someone. I had Ludwig but he had no one.

I curled up in the sitting position, watching Ludwig write on a piece of paper. "You needed to write a speech about Lovino, Feli," he explains as he writes. Seeing my confused look he continues, "for his funeral. To say goodbye. Unless you don't think you can say it then the priest will most probably read it for you."

I shake my head at him. "Not writing speech for funeral because he's not dead." he sighs in annoyance. "he is not dead, I can feel it Ludwig."

"Feliciano, he's been missing for over twenty-four hours, and he was very ill. You need to except that he's gone." I shake my head defiantly. He looks at me in understanding as he states "he's gone, Feli. He did a lot for you, I know, but he's gone."

A rare burst of anger flames in my mind as I search through our history and find nothing, nothing my brother has done for me that was good. He got in trouble, he got beaten up and bullied, and now he left me, all on my own to cope with everything he left behind.

I think Ludwig sensed the change in me as he asked "What's wrong?"

I shook with barley controlled anger as I speak, rage making my voice sound wrongly menacing. "you said he's done a lot, and your right, but none of it was for me. All he ever did was get in trouble and come home with more bruises every day, his foul language causing him to get beaten again. I have to listen to the new rumours all the time. He did this and he fought with so-and-so. And now he's left me, alone. No family, only friends and that will never be the same. He's selfish!" I'm almost shouting those last two words, Ludwig staring at me in amazement.

Then his expression changed, unreadable to me. "you never knew did you," he whispered softly.

"what?" I spat, the flames of anger, although fading, still present.

"He's done a lot for you, Feli. All those detentions, all those fights, he did them for you."

"What does that mean?"

"When you first arrived here, you kept getting into trouble, unintentualy. But no one could tell you apart back then so he took the blame for you. And as you grew older you kept getting in to trouble without even realising it and everyone found you so cute that everyone assumed it was him and he never said otherwise."

"Yer right, like he would do that." Seeing the sinscier look on his face I asked, "fine if he did all that what about the fights and that foul mouth of his."

"Well, do you remember last year when those boys were picking on you and try to beat you up." I nodded. "You know how they suddenly stopped." I nodded again. "Well Lovino noticed and when they next tried to bully you he pretended to be you. Only he reacted differently so they noticed that it was him. I guess they found it more fun to tease him cause after that they left you alone and bullied and beat him instead. I suppose that they threaten to go back to bullying you if he told cause every time their court he takes the blame."

"What about the swearing?"

"That I have no idea about."

"Wait, how do you know all this?"

"Well I'm in you class so I noticed that whatever you did he got punished for and as a prefect I frequently find those bully's beating him. I usually leave but one time he sounded just like you and I realised that he may be different but he's the same as you to. So I stuck around and tried to help him. You remember the day I brought him over here unconscious?"

"Yer you had bruises to, I thought that he had hit you. Your telling me that all this time he's been... I yelled at him every time he came home after..." I felt dreadful. My twin brother was being beaten and I just ignored him thinking him to much trouble. And now he was gone. I felt Ludwig shift to rap his arms round me, holding me as I cried myself to sleep.

**9pm, same date, Lovino**

I had been shaken awake half an hour ago by my "tutor." I felt refreshed and energized after a few glasses of magic, as they had nicknamed it. Now though he was getting frustrated. "What is it you want me to do?" I growled.

"Concentrate, lovino," he hissed. Our palms were touching and we were staring at each other. This was very uncomfortable for me. I mean I have yet to tell them my dating preference. I would be much more comfortable his wife considering how close we were. At least he wasn't my type or I would have point blank refused.

"Lovino, concentrate! Think about connecting with me." Now that defiantly was the wrong thing to say. I dropped my hands and stepped away, making space between us. "Lovino, what are you doing? Try again, don't give up."

I scratched the back of my neck, think how to phrase what I wanted to say. "Look ok, the thing is-"

"Lovino this is not the time to talk ok, whatever is wrong deal with it later."

"Oh for fuck sake, this is important."

"Do not swear in this house. In our community, we respect or mentors and tutors. You are lucky I do not punish you. Now try again!"

His change in altitude did not surprise me. It was always like this. People got angry at me easily. But I stood my ground and tried to speak. "Lovino, do as he says," Accipiter said.

"But, oh you don't understand."

"There is nothing to understand!" That was the last straw. I don't know what happened but one minute I was standing in their basement thinking about storming off to my room, the next I was I my room. I was slightly dazed as I sank down on the bed. As I stared at the wall, I thought what an annoying colour it was, it changed colour, from boring old white to tomato red. It started as just two small circles in line with my eyes but slowly grew bigger spreading to cover the whole wall.

I looked at the ceiling and it change to emerald green. This room was starting to change to match my own room back in England. Like it was reading my mind, even the bed changed from boring cream to green and red. "What the fuck is going on? I'm going crazy, I have to be going crazy, cause this is impossible!"

And yet it felt right. Like I was doing this. I closed my eyes and concentrated, completely on instinct. I felt my body shift and suddenly I was looking at my brother. He was talking with Ludwig, well he was trying to, he was crying too hard to really talk. Ludwig was writing on a piece of paper and I peered over his shoulder.

_Lovino was misunderstood by everyone who meet him because of the way he acted. He had a harsh outer shell that only one ever penetrated. My mother taught us to be who we are but that caused Lovino a lot of problems so he hid himself using his foul language and violent nature to hide behind. A lot of people used my brother to become friends with me and for that, Lovino, I'm sorry. I caused you a lot of upset and I will never be able to apologise._

_When we were younger and first arrived in this country, I got in a lot of trouble and ever time my brother took the blame. To this day he now, by default, gets blamed for everything I do wrong. I will never be able thank him for that._

_My brother will never..._

That was all I had time to read as I was dragged back to my own room and body. "Lovino, Lovino, are you ok?" I opened my eyes to see Lupus bending over me griping my shoulders and shaking me. I sat up, noting that I was on the floor. "What happened? Did you do this?" he asked gesturing to the room. I nodded, lost in thought and not really paying attention to him. "Look , Lovino I'm sorry I yelled at you. But you really need to learn this and-"

My eyes widened as I looked at the clock, in big red numbers was the time. 23:15.

"Lovino, what happened?" he asked.

"I have no idea," I whispered, remembering Feli's tears.

"Lovino, what is it? Why are you crying? Lovino?" Accipiter asked, panic in her voice.

"I saw… I saw my… I saw Feliciano." I relied, whipping my hand across my face to clear my vision. The looked at each other. Then at me. "It was like I was there, watching him. Like I had left my body. I was ghost, they couldn't see me. He was crying. Over me. As if he cared that I was gone. And he knew." I stood up only to sink back down onto the bed. I pulled my knees up under my chin and cried, actually cried.

"Knew what?"

"He knew what I had done for him, taking the blame every time he got in trouble and…"

"And the bullying," Lupus stated. I stared at him and he shrugged. We've been watching you for months lovino, waiting for you to show signs of the change. I saw those boys giving you a hard time and threatening to take you brother instead. I know how much you care for him. I saw that big German lad help you."

"Ludwig, his name is Ludwig." It was their turn to stare. "he's my brothers boyfriend." I shrugged as if I didn't care but the tears free falling down my face ruined the effect.

"boyfriend? But he's a boy to so-" Understanding dawned as he thought out loud.

"he's gay," I stated, "and so-"

"Oh my, Lovino," Lupus murmured, cutting me off as I tried to explain how alike my brother I was. He put his arm around me as he joined me on the bed. I immediately tensed, not liking that he was in my personal space. "It's ok, Lovino," he soothed, rubbing circles in my back. I tensed further and then pulled away creating as much space between us as I could.

"Please don't get that close," I stuttered, knowing that I would have to explain. They looked at each other quizzically, before understanding dawned in both pairs of eyes.

"You have the same preference as your brother."

"I've been trying to tell you since I woke up but you wouldn't listen. Yer me and my brother are both gay. That's why I was so uncomfortable earlier, when you were teaching me," my voice strained, by now my face was as red as my favourite fruit so I berried it in my knees.

"ah, we had an inkling about your brother but we didn't know about you," he murmured.

"yer, well I don't exactly have any friends so a boyfriend," I snorted at the thought.

"we all have someone out there for us Lovino, it's just a case of finding them. It took me and Lupus over 200 hundred years to find each other." Accipiter soothed, replacing her husband's hand with her own. I stared at her as I relaxed against her touch.

"How old are you?" I asked, incredulously.

"lovino, that's rude you should never-" Lupus started.

Accipiter cut him off, "it's fine, lupus. He has a right to know." They shared a look and I swear I heard "everything" pass from one to another. He shook his head and let it go paying attention to her again. "I'm nearly 350 years old and Lupus about 450 years."

I stared at her trying to make senses of this. "that is just… I have no words to describe that. 100 hundred years apart. Big age gap."

"Normal, for our kind anyway. We can live up to 2000 years some are even longer. Most die before their 500 though because of territorial battles, matting rights and diseases of the blood. There are very few females of our kind, males are more likely to survive the change. In fact, before I bonded with lupus, I was the most sort after girl in high school. It was like wolfs to a dear. But you have only one true mate. Mine was lupus. Yours will most probably be male as will your brothers which works in your favour."

I shifted, not liking this subject anymore. "please, can we not talk about that. I prefer not to."

"Of course as you were raised by humans then you mate will most likely be human."

I never want to hear about that subject. I wondered briefly if this was like human familys were like, just talking. I had never seen a family, every time family visits and holidays came round me and Feli used to hide in my room talking or sleeping or just doing nothing in order to avoid seeing what we could never have. But now I felt like this could be home. I opened my eyes not having realised I had closed them to find Lupus gone.

"I don't want to leave," I murmured, unintentualy saying it out loud.

"you have to, you have your brother to think about."

"I said I didn't, not that I won't," I replied. "It's just that for the first time, I feel at home. I have never felt like that."

"Because you have never been around your own kind, except with your parents."

"I never even felt at home then from what little I can remember," I replied. "It was always Feliciano never me who was their son. I never felt like I belonged."

She pulled me close. "You will always have a home here, and you will be with your own kind. Soon you will meet more of us, more of our kind closer to your own age. My birthday is soon, I turn 350 years exactly."

"Why do you look no older than you early twenties?"

"We do not age at the same rate as humans. Over the course of fifty years we appear to age by only one year. You will remain sixteen for a long time having to move from place to place or hiding until it makes no difference."

"I'm not sixteen, I'm fourteen. My fifteenth if tomorrow," I said, and wondered why she gasped.

"That's impossible," she looked at me as if I was a science project. "no one of our kind has ever changed before their sixteenth birthday. I thought your brother was fifteen soon not you. Does that make him fourteen?"

I shook my head while replying, "he is the same age, we are twins. We were born half an hour away from each other making me born on the 16th may and him on the 17th. Other than the days we are twins."

"But he looks younger than you, we thought…"

"Well Feli has not had to grow up faster than most. He wishes to stay young and carefree so that is how it is."

"Then you must go back," she worried. "should any of our kind find out how young you changed then no good would come to you. You will return tomorrow and we will move from here to join you in a month. Until then keep a grip on your powers and drink the substitute we will send you. You will hunt with us when we join you."

She hurried out of the room making plans and muttering about how she must tell Lupus. I followed only to find that she had locked me within my room. Feeling miserable I paced the room finally glancing at the clock to find it to be 5am. I felt waves of tiredness role over me and had just enough time to change into my PJs before I sank onto the bed and dreamed.

* * *

**Yer so I still kind of introducing the story it should pick up around chapters 4-5. Anyway, if any of you find any mistakes do not hesitate to point out. Only no flames cause I will make your lives hell.**

**Kidding. Kind of. Any way I have a persition needing to be filled. I seriously need a beta tester, and would not mind returning the favour. I am very good at spotting typos just not my own.**

**R&R if you feel lucky.**


	4. Chapter 4

*puts up hand in serender*

pleae don't kill me but i am discontinuing this fanfict. i have several reasons so hear me out.

1. i have deleted the chapter plan and can not remember most of the plot

2. i have lots of exams coming up so even my other fanfict will have to be put on hold

3. i lost insperation when my friend who gave me the idea in the first place was a bitch

4. i don't like this pairing anymore. i prefer

so there you have it. i think those are justifyable reasons. if you don't well you can fuck off. it's my mind so there.

if anyone wants to adopt the story i would not mind giving you what little of the plot line i can remember. if you do PM me and i will judge your writing skill to see if you sre worthy of my story.

all that is is left to be said is:

i will not be writing anymore story's for hetalia for a while except friendship to love in the supernatural.

and Vale mea patiens sequaces et spero aliquis pergit pro tua conplebuntur desiderium.

have fun tranlating that!


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